I should know better than to leave these damned blogs more than a couple of days, but in my defence my friends are awesome and therefore distracting. I am home now, and therefore less likely to be distracted, but this is going to be one hell of a blog. Again. GOD.

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Written on the train ride to Cardiff 'cause this is basically a tradition now.

So, Bristol. That happened. I can't check where I left off, but I think I'd just arrived to terrible, terrible internet connection at my Bristol hotel. Hahaha. Uhm – that night all I did was go to a pub where I got a burger from a mega-androgenous waitress and then I slept. SO.

JUNE 28

Woke up with a fully sketched up map of Bristol with places to go and things to see. Had French Toast, which here just seems to mean fried toast with cinnamon. First order of business: As usual, a tour bus to get my bearings. Was the longest tour so far, nearly 2 hours worth. They took us all around the City. I was in Bristol in no small part to track down Skins filming locations and I have to say they are really hard to miss. Watching Skins must be totally trippy for the people of Bristol.

After the tour, having a pretty good idea of where I was going, I walked up to College Green and up Park street, which is the steepest shopping area in the UK. It's not so bad really. Around the top of Park Street I found Rocotillo, which is the American-style diner where Sid and Cassie from Skins meet up a lot. I had a chicken burger with curly fries and a strawberry milkshake and watched some ladies' tennis. Tennis is pretty intense. I could probably watch tennis on a regular basis if it was on much at home.

When I walked out of the Rocotillo I realized the museum was just across the street – and it's free, so I totally had to check it out. Most of it was pretty standard, but they have some amazing old paintings which were the coolest to look at. It wasn't just portraits, but most of it was realism. Was nice.

(Note: We are totally crossing into Wales now. Wheee!)

After the museum I walked back down to College Green and checked out the Bristol Cathedral – it was pretty plain compared to the others I'd seen. By then it was already 5, so I trudged back to the hotel and ditched my stuff before going to “The best Indian food in Bristol, hands down”, according to my hotel's local area guide. Well, either they lied or Bristol has some spectacularly underwhelming Indian food, because Tandoori palace at home makes way better food and for like... a 6th of the cost. BOOOOO, Old India, boo. Although it was inside the old Stock Exchange building, which was really trippy.

Back to the room, uploaded photos of Manchester, watched more tennis, slept!

JUNE 29

Woke up, had Eggs Royale for breakfast (sorry, Royäle) and went off to walk across the Clifford Suspension bridge! I did that. An old Indian man made me take his picture like 5 times and then asked me to lead him back to the bus because he was totally lost. Haha. He has a daughter in Plymouth. She's a doctor. He's very proud of her. He thinks I should go to school and be a doctor too so my parents will be proud. Haha. I wonder if he'd accept a lawyer instead.

Me and the old Indian man got back on the bus and took it to the City Centre. I had a sweet chili chicken & cheese crepe from this one place and listened to three guys try to rap but get constantly plagued with technical difficulties. The crepe was really gross. Do not recommend. Why they had signs everywhere recommending it is beyond me.

Then I went to the Aquarium! SEVERELY UNDERWHELMING. One of the worst Aquariums I've ever been in, although they did have an AWESOME turtle display. One of the turtles tried to eat my hand. No seriously, my hand was hanging over the water and it rushed up and snapped at my fingers. Hungry Hungry turtles!

The price of admission also included a 45 minute IMAX film. Oh man, this movie. Let me try and explain. Okay. So there's this scene with a bunch of people speaking French and huddling around an old fossil – this is based in a time where there were no fossils of note found yet, so it was a true “WHAT THE FUCK” moment. And there is this creepy kid standing in the back staring at the fossil. CUT TO THE PRESENT. A bunch of people are standing in front of a tank at an Aquarium. “I'm sure that there are still dinosaurs in the ocean”, said... Andrea, or Ashley, or whatever her name was, the blonde vapid chick at the front. When in steps this dude dressed like he's from the 1800's, for no clear reason, and says basically: “You're an idiot, Andrea, they died out millions of years ago. And BTW they're called Marine Reptiles when they live in the ocean” - and then the dude proceeds to lecture us on the various types of marine reptiles there were and how they were totally impressive, with occasionally 2 minute scene where Andrea or Ashley or whatever it was adds something helpful like: “that's so interesting!” OH AND THERE WAS A SUPER AWKWARD PREHISTORIC MARINE REPTILE SEX SCENE which randomly ended with the female stabbing out the male's eye, which seemed to happen for no good reason at all, and then later the male came back and died 'cause it totally failed at hunting with one eye. “Oh yes,” Andrea said, “With one eye it would be most difficult” - most awkward phrasing ever whatever. SO YEAH THAT HAPPENED. Oh and in the end it turned out that the guy dressed in the 1800's costume (WHO DISAPPEARED WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION OR REACTION FROM WHATSERNAME) was the ghost of that kid staring from the back of the room and that kid was also THE FATHER OF PALIENTOLOGY and they said it as if it was supposed to be some sort of big reveal but it wasn't and oh my God I don't even know.

(In Newport! There is Welsh on the signs! WELSHYYYY!)

So I left the Aquarium, and, having nearly passed out in the movie from exhaustion, went back to the hotel for a naptaking. After that I went out for dinner – I just went to a Japanese place across the street and got a chicken bento box. It was “cheap and cheerful” as they say here, although the quotes makes that seem disingenuous... Then went back, packed, watched Ferris Bueller and stayed up stupidly late Rping, and then it was...

JUNE 30

Woke up, started to organize myself for the day, and there was a knock at the door. It was a maid. She seemed surprised I was there and said she would come back later. I asked: “Check-out is at 11, right?” she said right and walked away. So I showered, got ready, had a sausage sandwich for breakfast, went back upstairs to chat on MSN for 45 minutes or so before I had to check out... when she came back. This time she seemed upset I was still there. “This room is empty today.” “After I leave, yes.” “You are checked out, you need to go.” “Uhm- I never actually checked out. Uh- really?” “Yes, you should be gone, you need to go.” “...Okay then, give me a couple of minutes.” So I gathered my stuff, kind of pissed off, and they should totally anticipate a scathing tripadvisor review for that amongst other things! Yay! 8D

So yeah, I got a taxi to the station because the House on Wheels (my suitcase) would not be friendly for the long walk to Temple Meads station, waited for the train, and now I am on it, and on my way to Donyaaaaaaaa. Excitement! Further updates to come.

Further update: I am at Donya's! There are two crazy dogs downstairs. I haven't seen them yet but I can hear them.

Written on the train to Stafford and then the train to Bristol – not worried about falling asleep this time, it's just a good time to write.

So, when last I left you, Tom and I had just had our wild and crazy adventure, which, truly, was hilarity itself. Considering how it turned out. Had it turned out worse it would have been frustrating.

A lot has happened since then, my apollogies for being neglectful, but writing these blogs takes a lot of effort and I have been spending time with many lovely people.

After Tom and I did so very much running, we slept. The next day was very chill, we slept in a bit and wandered the city, shopping. I purchased a copy of Last Window, the sequel to Hotel Dusk which inexplicably was never ported to the US but was ported to Europe, wtf. We went to a manga store, and a Forbidden Planet, and Tom introduced me to the bizarre new fad in England (although we didn't go in for a treatment) – getting fish to eat all the dirt and dead skin off your feet. Charming?

We also went into the Manchester Cathedral, which was very lovely and had a very creepy off-tune organ player. OH. Random fact, I find British ice cream vans absolutely terrifying. I keep hearing them off in the distrance and freaking out. The tinkling bells that make my hosts think of childhood's happy memories give me the shivers. It's like the soundtrack of an old school horror movie.

MOVING ON

We went to Pizza Hut for lunch, it was nom-licious. Tom had inexplicably never had pepperoni on a pizza before. We had pepperoni/bacon stuffed crust pizza. It was most filling and delicious. We wandered town a bit more before going to yet another HMV – where I found Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva. THERE IS A PROFESSOR LAYTON MOVIE WHY DID NOBODY INFORM ME OF THIS. It was amazing. The star of the show is Emmy, who roundhouse kicked a wolf. AMAZING. Glad to hear she will be a regular character, beginning in game 4. We watched Prof. Layton with dubbing for a while. We laughed. Hysterically. And were kind of disturbed that the English accents in Prof. Layton are actually recorded in England. Why are they so awful and shrill!?

We finished watching Haruhi, and ended the night with a late night snack in McDonalds.

JUNE 23

The next day was a sad day for me and Tom were to part until we met again in London! We went to Cafe Rouge for breakfast and had Croque Madames, which were most nom-licious. Cheese and ham (and in my case egg) – how can you go wrong? Then we walked (luckily the POURING RAIN of the morning gave way by the time we had to leave) to Picadilly station and said goodbye- there were much hugs – and I was off to Liverpool!

Got off at Liverpool South Parkway, which is the stop closest to Anan's, and was waiting for her. I saw her drive by in her car so I walked outside to wave to her- and watched her park about 3 times (she parked, then straightened out, then realized her door wouldn't open, so parked slightly diagonally again) and loaded into the car. Huzzah! More hugs and greetings! We went to her house where I met her dad, Tom, her brothers Andrew and Robbie, and Andrew's girlfriend Kaylah. Greetings all around, discussion about how goddamn heavy my suitcase is all around, the suitcase was rolled up the stairs, and then we were off for a drive to introduce me to Liverpool! We went to Speke Hall, which is this old timey house, but we just walked around the grounds rather than go inside and chatted and caught up. We went for a walk in the woods by Speke Hall too. They felt like very young woods. Very lively but young. If that makes sense.

Then there was further driving around the city. I saw Penny Lane! It is not much to write home about but I still have the song stuck in my head. Anan's dad called and requested the car be returned, so off we went back home. There was a temporary stay at home, and then we were off again, this time to Lark Lane for dinner. Lark Lane has soooooo many different restaurants/types of restaurants. We went up and down the street just so I could see the variety, it was stunning. I could spend a week on that street alone! In the end, though, we went to a Thai place called Chili Banana. THE FOOD WAS SO AMAZING. We had a vegetarian banquet, which is like- 6 appetizers and 3 mains to split. SO GOOD. I cannot even explain it well enough, everything was totally delicious. There will be pics on Facebook once their upload tool gets its goddamn act together.

Back home and sleepy times!

JUNE 24

This was a very busy day. We got up early, Anan made me eggy bread with syrup (what we know as French Toast, although having it with syrup seems bewildering to English people) and took the bus in because miss Anan needed to go to work, but she had time to bring me to Albert Docks, which is a tourist hub with a load of museums – I didn't get to see all of them – actually I spent all my time at one of them – and so I must go back to see the rest someday.

So, guess which was the one I went to?

THAT'S RIGHT: THE BEATLES STORY. It mostly covered all the topics I had seen before by obsessively poring over the wiki articles of the Fab4, but they had some historical footage I'd never seen which was pretty amazing. And the highlight of it was actually the side gallery they had running, which was all stuff donated by Julian Lennon, and the exhibit was all about his relationship with his dad.. Which is great to see, because I always wondered about Julian and how he turned out. Seems like it's been rough on him but he's doing okay.

Then I took a quick tour bus around the city- same company as in Edinburgh and York. It was a very quick tour, actually, hardly 50 minutes. But it gave me a really good introduction to the City. I got off at Albert Docks again and went to Quay Confectionery, which is a candy store down there which is muchly delicious. I waited at the docks for the next 20 minutes, when Anan got back from work, and we wandered off to explore more. We went to dinner at a French place called Bistro Franco. Soooooooooo good. The food was just really simple and clean and it was only 11.60 for 3 courses which is a really great deal. Mmmmmm.

We decided to go to Bridesmaids after, and headed to the Odeon, but the film wasn't for an hour, so we wandered shops – and then when we got back, all the tickets were sold out except for the expensive seats in the far back. ...Ech! The guy at the counter suggested we go to FACT, which is an indie cinema in the area, so we did that, and got in! Yay! We ate ice cream and watched the movie. I recommend it, although like most comedy movies it loses steam after the first half where it stops making us laugh and starts teaching us a Very Important Lesson.

Back home, sleepy times, time for...

JUNE 25

(Note: and here is where I put lappy away to transfer trains in Stafford.)

(And I am back. Somebody is sitting in my reserved seat. I'm not sure what to do. I am sitting in somebody else's reserved seat in the interim and feeling very guilty about it...)

Right, June 25th. The 25th was a wandering the city day. We woke up and Anan yet again spoiled me with breakfast – this time sausage, bacon, eggs and toast – and off we went to the City again. First stop: the cathedrals. There's a Catholic one known as Paddy's Wigwam (or Patti's? Anan, advise) which looks a LOT like the Planetarium at home except taller and more imposing and with far more stained glass. It's really beautiful inside, and the acoustics must be ridiculous. And my God, I cannot even imagine the expense it took to build it. As Anan said: “that's the Catholic Church for ya.”

NEXT we went to the Anglican Cathedral which was STAGGERINGLY huge, and as Anan correctly pointed out looks an awful lot like Hogwarts. We went all the way up to the top (there's a lift, I don't think I could take 650 stairs...) and looked out over the City. The guard up there clearly isn't given enough to do and went on a quest to help us spot the area that Anan lives in from the top of the tower. We think we might have seen it, but we're not sure- there aren't many tall buildings near her.

We climbed down and went to this place called Quarter for late lunch/early dinner. We had a meze plate and split a plate of benedict pasta (egg, smoked salmon, and asparagus in a cream sauce) and goat cheese pizza. Mmmmmmmmmm so tasty. And they had great smoothies too. OH and we had dessert! Anan had Lumpy Bumpy, which has a chocolate cheesecake bottom, with cream, chocolate cake, profiteroles, and chocolate icing over top of it all. Nom. I had a Paris Brest, which makes me want to giggle everytime I say it. It had puff pastry shaped like a donut, filled with whipped cream and custard and fruit. Also very tasty. But my God we were full. Anan's dad gave Anan money to pay for the whole thing, too, which I TOTALLY forgot to thank him for... OTL... Anan, please say thank you to him!

After that we wandered down to the club area so Anan could show off the beginning of the night life- it was only 7pm but things were already pretty rowdy. Then we shipped off back to hers to watch movies. We watched Up, because she had never seen it (wtf) and Robin Hood (Disney's) because I had never seen that. Oodelalee. At some point we also ended up nomming on proper Chippy Chips as Anan calls them. I approve. Especially of the onion gravy that comes with. Om nom nom.

JUNE 26

We woke up late-ish and already had plans to have Sunday Roast at home and then I was to attend a rehearsal of a Midsummer's Night Dream at Black Box, which is Anan's place of work, so we didn't have much time.

Anan had spotted a flyer for an event called “Super Effective Sunday” - which was a gaming event taking place at the CUC. It was pretty epic. They had a whole bunch of old consoles to play on (although their game collection could use some work, tsk...) and they had a Super Smash Bros. Melee tourney. I wish we'd gotten there early enough to sign up, I would have thrown down! Some of the guys obviously had no idea how to play, I could have taken them easy. And everybody and their mother played as Link. I was rooting for the guy who played as Kirby, swallowed his weakened opponent, and hurled himself off the edge so he could spit his opponent out, knowing the guy only had one life and he had three. Hahaha. It was hilarious. Anan played some Mystic Quest and talked to a guy she'd done a sci-fi play with. I agreed to send him some restaurant suggestions in Vancouver, because him and his fiancee will be going there on their honeymoon. Vancouver locals – any suggestions?

There was going to be a quiz but it started too late for us to participate. Booo! We went back home and nommed on Sunday roast. Beef and potatoes and broccoli and cauliflower and turnip/carrot mash and gravy. Quality. Nom nom nom nom.

Then off to work! We were greeted by a roaring Rose. Rose is the daughter of Anan's bosses, and she is SUPER ADORABLE and absolutely looooooooves Anan. She was a bit shy around me but was still friendly. I watched two rehearsals of the show – it's for schoolkids, so the story is super adapted, but it was really fun and all the lines rhymed and I had a lot of fun. The kids are sure to love it. It had been weeks since they practiced so it was rusty – which frankly made it even funnier because of all the awkward missing of cues. They'd sorted most of that out by the second run-through, though.

UNFORTUNATELY because of the rustiness Anan was called back into rehearse at 10am the next day, therefore meaning we would have to wake up very early and me and my giant case would be dragged along on her route to work if I wanted to stick with her.

JUNE 27

That didn't end up being my decision – Anan's dad kindly offered me a ride to the station, so we said our goodbyes as she headed off to work, and then I hung around, watching Deal or no Deal and the last episode of Game of Thrones (I am pretty pleased with the adaptation, I have to say). Then her dad drove me off to the station, I got on the train, and the old lady next to me noticed the Air Canada tags on my bag and we got into a long conversation about how Vancouver was great and how old all the buildings are here and how GODDAMN SMALL THIS COUNTRY IS and how I don't understand how people haven't gone EVERYWHERE by now, and everybody here (the old lady was no exception) keeps saying how inaccessible everything is. DO YOU KNOW WHAT, ENGLISH PEOPLE!? A 3 HOUR GAP BETWEEN TRAINS DOES NOT MEAN IT IS INACCESSIBLE. IN 6 HOURS I CAN GO TO SEATTLE. IN 3 HOURS I CAN GO TO VICTORIA. IN 14 HOURS I CAN GO TO CALGARY. THAT IS ALL I'VE GOT AT HOME. YOU CAN GET ABSOLUTELY ANYWHERE IN THIS COUNTRY (AND POSSIBLY EVEN GET BACK) IN 14 HOURS, AND YOU CAN GET TO HALF THE GODDAMN COUNTRY IN 6. RIDICULOUS. *Throws up hands*

So now I'm on the train. We just left Birmingham. Wait. We JUST left Birmingham? But I'm done the blog! ...I have hours left to kill!

... WELL I GUESS I'M WATCHING THE L WORD.

Back to you, me 3 hours from now who will be in her hotel in Bristol mapping out Skins filming locations and fighting with Facebook's absolute garbage photo uploader (HOW DID THEY MANAGE TO BREAK IT GOD DAMN IT). But then here I am planning on using LJ, so who am I to complain about broken websites.

BRING ON THE LADY WITH THE SANDWICH CART.

(....)

And here I am in Bristol! It is hot. There is no air con, and the floor is made of horrible spiny material I am allergic to. ... WTF, floor. What are you made of and why is it so painful. Also why is tennis over for the day already? Hmph.

I will just be going out for dinner and then uploading some photos and planning my day tomorrow. And maybe watching Chris Lilley's new show. ...CW, come online now to help me decide what Skins filming locations to go to.

THAT IS ALL.

YORK. Here we go. What happened first...

Well, I woke up and had porridge and pancakes and fresh squeezed orange juice. Was delicious. Then I packed up and set out for the city centre. Picked the usual starting place - a tour bus! The lady giving the tour was surly and a bit odd. We passed a horse and carriage and she got totally obsessed with watching them go down the street and forgot about narrating. But nevermind! I got to see the town, to inspire my sightseeing. The most picturesque part of York seemed to be York Minster, so I went there first. I was a little disappointed with it, really- until I wandered into a tour group with this woman who was giving an AMAZING informative tour of the place. She's been volunteering with them since she was 15 and went into lots of detail about the amount of work that goes into the restoration process. There's a stained glass window there which is apparently THE stained glass window - it's the most amazing work of stained glass in the world. Unfortunately, it's out for restoration, and will continue to be so until 2020. DEAR FUCKING GOD, who could be bothered.

After that, I went for a walk down the Shambles, which is a preserved old-timey shopping street. I walked down the street and stopped in a couple of toy stores. There was a teddy bear there I'd totally fallen in love with, but I left it behind. I still kind of regret it! Ah well. At the end of my walk I grabbed a cheese & bacon roll which was AMAZING. My God, the Brits put bacon in everything. Glorious. I am, however, going to gain a billion pounds. And not in a money way. BUT FUCK IT I AM ON VACATION.

I went to the National Railway Museum! Not much to say about this place. There were a lot of trains, and overly excited little boys. And there was a grandmother who backhanded her granddaughter right in front of me, which just- I have never wanted to attack an old lady more. Especially because the kid just went sprawling to the floor sobbing as the grandma stormed off. What the hell, lady!? *Homicidal urges*

I went back to the hotel then, even though it was early, because I had a fancy dinner to get ready for! But I had a bit of time to kill, so I took pictures of the magnificent gardens at Middlethorpe hall. Refer to facebook for said pics.

Then I prettied up and went to dinner! It was amazing. Loved the duck liver in the appetizer, the drink, and the most delicious deconstructed cheesecake for dessert! I did feel a little self-conscious about my table manners. Eating quail on the bone is not exactly easy with a fork and knife... But I managed! And it was worth it! Then I went to my room and collapsed into sleep.

DAY 2 - YORK

The day of disappointing museums!

Beginning with the museum of Yorkminster, which is full of old stuff and interesting stuff to read, but after a while reading makes my eyes go crossed, so sadly I can't tell you much that the York Wiki couldn't tell you. There were some really, really old artfacts, though. Intense. It was a pretty small museum, though, especially for a 10 pound entrance fee.

My next goal was Clifford's tower, which is an old fortified tower from the 13th century on top of a very high hill. It is a very nice view, although the whole place is lurching to one side which makes climbs up and down the stairs very disturbing...

It was fairly uneventful, though. You just walk around it. But it was right next to another museum, so I walked down to that (castle museum) and went through that. That was pretty interesting - one of those museums that tries to remake periods of time. They have a victorian period gallery and they were running a 1960s gallery in the other. Was pretty interesting. Especially watching really old Doctor Who in the 60's gallery. Hehe!

UHM. After that I started heading up towards the Jorvik gallery, which is a museum all about the viking settlement that used to be in York. I got distracted on my way by a couple of people who had trained owls that people could hold and get photos with. I really liked all the owls but ended up posing with the biggest one. She totally tried to kill a labrador while I was there. Owls is hardcore.

Jorvik was amusing if just because I was warned about "German teenagers" before I went in, and then was warned against them again when we were loading into the simulator ride. However, at no point was it clear exactly WHY I should be concerned there were German teenagers around. WTF? The centre itself had lots of old artefacts, but not as much as I expected, and most of it was a long, cheezy simulator ride through the Jorvik of old, narrated by some British lady, and it was just... yeah. Bewildering. And again, too expensive.

Then it was 6pm, and I grabbed two cornish pasties for the road, and ate them as I packed up.

NEXT DAY

Rushing around, got on a train, went to Manchester, met Tom, abandoned my bags, went to his favourite shopping areas, met his friends at Games Workshop, ate Subway for dinner, hung out, slept! SIMPLE, AHAHA. Highlights: the guys at games workshop: A) Not recognizing Tom without his hat, and B) totally geeking out when I introduced myself as Tao, because there is a race in Warhammer known as the Tau (said the same), and they are nerdy and found that hysterical, and I found their amusement adorable.

NEXT DAY

Tom and I started the day by grabbing sandwiches at a pub, and then headed down to MOSI, the Museum of Science and Industry. This museum is HUGE. Neither of us had the patience to go through the whole place in detail, but we were still there almost four hours. We had other goals in mind, though, so off we went to Mossley, so I could see Tom's homestead. I met his mom and their dog (who is a bit spazzy about strangers and sounds like a cockatoo), and their many chickens, and Mitten (the ginger cat who is a big softie), and briefly Mackerel (who just ran in and out, as he does). Sadly Young Lawrence was not in attendance. Next time, young Lawrence, next time.

We stole the DVD player from their house and came back to the hotel to drop it off, except... we... forgot the controller... NO WAY AM I WATCHING THIS DUBBED. We set out into the world to find a universal controller to mend this.

We got the controller, and in the same trip ended up grabbing dinner (a rice/stir-fry place which was pretty nice, but mine was REALLY spicy (when they say chili chicken, they DON'T FUCKING JOKE AROUND), and Tom's had unanticipated vegetables - which, as he is very particular about which vegetables he eats, was not best pleasing to him, but he liked the chicken and rice bit a lot so hopefully that made up for it.)

Then we came back here, to use the DVD player for the purposes for which it was intended - watching Suzumiya Haruhi, Season 2!

...Except...

THE CONTROLLER WASN'T WORKING.

...Well.

Whatever.

We can watch the dub, right? We're not that snobby.

*30 seconds of the dub*

NO.

UNACCEPTABLE.

Tom grabbed his stuff, called his mom so she would be waiting at the train station with the controller, and headed off, leaving me online talking to people waiting for him to get back.

At which point Wolf provided me with the clue that made me realize how to make the controller work.

It worked.

...Tom's cellphone was dead. I couldn't contact him. He was about to spend an hour on a train when he didn't have to.

...Grabbed my room key, grabbed my cellphone, and RAN.

10 minutes and 6 blocks later, totally out of breath, I babbled desperately to the train gatekeeper about how my friend was about to take a train ride to run an errand he didn't need to run and could I please get through, please, so I could stop him. Guy said yes, so in I ran- Tom was waiting in line for the train, which was in the station, but delayed, and therefore haven't left yet.

I have to wonder what people thought, as I ran up, breathless, and gasped: "Tom, it's working, you can come back."

We totally credit the train delay to the devine intervention of Suzumiya Haruhi.

SO

Then we watched a lot of anime.

And then it took me way too long to finish this blog.

And now we sleep.

TTYL, all.

Written on the train to York, mostly, again, so I won't fall asleep.

Ahoy again, all. Let me tell you all about Edinburgh as the English countryside zips past. Spoiler alert: It's pretty awesome.

Right. Where did I leave off? Oh right, I'd just arrived at my hotel. Well, I slept, and woke up the next morning at about 7:30. It wasn't too bad. Sleep was kind of uneven. My version of jetlag seems to be waking up repeatedly during the night, confused as to what time it is. Could be worse. I had breakfast – English breakfast (see my Facebook for pics and menu details) and tropical juice and rice krispies, both of which became a tradition. I got on a bus pretty easily, and off we went to the City Centre.

First things first: I had errands to run! First of all, I needed a UK cellphone. I walked down the street until I found an O2 (cell provider) shop, went in, and asked how much to call Canada/UK. 20 pounds for everything I needed. I stared at the guy and was like: “Dude, it is SO CHEAP here.”and he argued with me until I told him what it would have cost me at home, at which point he just stared at me sympathetically. He sent me off to get the phone unlocked so it'd work in the UK, and so I walked like 8 blocks to this place run by a pair of totally skeevy Russians. They couldn't unlock my phone, sadly, something about the way the security was configured, so it would cost me 30 pounds. They said to just buy a new phone. SO back to my good friend at O2. A new phone was 12 pounds. WHAT THE FUCK, WHY IS THIS SO CHEAP. But- yay! Phone all set up. Off we go again.

Next chore! Getting a 16-25 railcard! Not much to say here, it was painless. Dude was impressed I had my photos/documents all ready for him.

OH HEY and this one guy was sure I lived in Edinburgh, even though he thought I was a foreigner. Foreigner but not a tourist! I'll take it! I hate looking like a tourist.

...On that note, the next thing I did was got on a double-decker sightseeing tourbus, because I can't take photos of scenery if I'm not on one of those things because I don't want the glares and judgment of passers-by! The tour was pretty good, I got a good idea of the layout of the City which meant I could make my way around pretty easily from there on. This one guy next to me slept through the whole tour, it was bizarre. I didn't understand why he was on there if he was gonna sleep though it.

Off the bus, and on to the Zoo, which I arbitraily became determined to see based on the fact that there was a penguin who had been knighted (by Norway, of all places) at the zoo and I just had to see him. The zoo was... a zoo! Highlights: Baby penguins, baby monkeys, anorexic tiger which went for a swim, Sir Nils. Lowlights: Getting a harsh sunburn. In Scotland. What the hell? When did it get so sunny here?

After the zoo it was about 6pm so I went back to the hotel, dropped off my stuff, and went out to dinner. I went to an Indian place. It was kind of weird, the waiters all seemed very tense, and as I finished the curry I was eating (Lamb, fennel, and something TREMENDOUSLY SPICY) two of them started setting up laptops and playing WoW at the back of the restaurant. ...it was a nice restaurant, okay? Cloth napkins and 6 pieces of silverware nice. What the hell happened there?

(Side note: I think we're passing the Newcastle suburbs right now. The houses are pretty close together. My God, they all look the same. Oh hey! Apartment buildings taller than 4 storeys! How home-like!)

Back to hotel, back to sleep – Day 2 begins!

Woke up at 8, took shower, had breakfast (Bagel with smoked salmon & scrambled eggs), and off again! This time to Edinburgh Castle. Uh- I don't know what to tell you about sightseeing, really. There were lots and lots of tourists there. They took commemorative photos of me but then totally lost them so I didn't get to buy them – yay saving money? I bought a Mary Queen of Scots christmas ornament because HOW COULD I RESIST. The views from the castle were really nice. The castle itself was kind of 'meh'. If you go to Edinburgh you can totally skip it. OH WAIT I remember something worth mentioning. The people who desperately wanted to give me Mentos gum. I mean, seriously, they wanted me to have it SO MUCH. They even had a giant dancing pack of Mentos. It was just all very odd.

Another thing that I'd seen last time I was here, but I forgot, and am now totally amused by: Menzies. There's a company named Menzies here. WTF, UK? Do you know what that means to me? I realize it's a family name, but- uh- When a woman is 'on her menzies'... Yeah you get the picture!

After the castle I walked down the Royal Mile for a bit, but turned off it to go to The Elephant House – a café which is infamous for being THE café that JKR sat in with her infant son as she was writing Harry Potter. I sat in there had a Fanta. Waited for something monumental to happen. Nothing did.

Went to the National Museum of Scotland, next. ...There were scottish things there. Old scottish things. There was also a sciency bit where everything was interactive. That was pretty fun. These two kids were arguing over whether this girl named Alison had had a robot spell her name correctly or not. Alison said she had. The other kid said she hadn't, and bet her two pounds. The robot spelled her name ALISOM. I don't think she gave that kid those two pounds, though. OH and there was a really hot guy there with red hair and weating a tartan beret which I promised to use on this blog as my lead-in to the subject that SCOTTISH MEN ARE FUCKING HOT. How on earth Groundskeeper Willie and Fat Bastard are such consistent stereotypes of Scots in North America is beyond me. In my brief experience they definitely (at least in Edinburgh) run more of the Sean Connery variety. Also, Scottish accents are sexy. Not just on girls. Truth.

Right! Left that museum, and walked down the Royal Mile again, this time to the Museum of Childhood. Anan recommended it to me, and it was very cool. Biggest highlight was the nightmarish doll exhibit. The coolest doll was this 1300 year old (or something) doll that was found in a child's grave. It made me kind of sad. They should have left that in there! Thieves!

(Side note: Durham! We're in Durham. Where is Durham...? Between Newcastle and York, presumably)

After the museum of childhood, I was feeling kind of achey, so even though it was only 4 I went back to my hotel. Started watching Up, and fell asleep. For three hours. Oops. 8:00, I finally get out to go for dinner. Note, I hadn't eaten since breakfast at 9. I went to a pub. I took a seat and tried to see how other people were ordering. Seemed like there was table service, but I wanted to be sure so I went to the bar and asked if I should order there or at a table. He said I should just wait at a table. So I did. ...I played some monopoly. ...played some gelato mania. ...uhh. Tried to wave somebody down. They didn't see me. Uhhh... After I'd been there from an hour, I got frustrated and embarrassed and walked out. Walked down the street, got chinese takeaway instead. Om nom nom nom nom.

Finished watching Up! Slept! Day 3!

Woke up, ate a Scottish Breakfast, which included Haggis, which was SO DELICIOUS, totally unexpectedly. Excellent. Went off to the City, starting off my day with a trip to the Edinburgh Dungeons, which I had no idea what they were, but it turns out they're a cheezy tourist trap haunted tour thing. It was based mostly off of the real life cases of a canibalistic incestuous family who murdered and ate a whole lot of people and were then all killed off, and a case of a couple of people who made a living selling cadavers to medical examiners, but then supply ran short, and they just killed people to sell instead! Delightful! 32 people can go in a group, and it just so happened that a group of primary school students with 31 people in their group were ahead of me, so- RANDOM CANADIAN ADDITION AGOGO.

The kids were pretty fun to go on the tour with. They booed and jeered me when I was accused of being a witch, and they laughed like crazy when their teacher was accused of being a crossdresser. Sadly by about halfway through the tour half of them were sobbing from fear and their teacher (Mr.McNichol. 8D) was seriously regretting the choice of field trip. It's a shame, because it was a really good haunted tour, actually. Their actors were really impressive. The kids were eagerly talking to me by the end of the tour, too, telling me how scared and nervous they had been and asking if I'd been scared, and I got to tell them how acting cues and setbuilding works (a little) so they'd be able to tell where/when scary things would happen. Ruins the magic a little but considering they wwere all crying it seemed fair to let them off the hook a little.

Next I went to the Palace of Holyrood which is the Queen's summer residence in Edinburgh.

(Break for lunch/getting off the train, write more when I get there!)

I'm in York now! More on that later.

Okay – Holyrood! Yeah, it was pretty cool. Lots of old stuff.. Portraits, beds, Mary Queen of Scot's bedroom where everything went horribly awry (or so said my audio tour) – quite frankly, pretty underwhelming. The tremendously detailed work and old furnishings – I dunno. It's not especially my thing, except that I can't really say that because the Biltmore BLEW MY MIND. But the thing is – the palace looks tremendously small and stuffy when compared with the Biltmore. Biltmore > Holyrood. Sorry your majesty.

However, there is one thing the Biltmore didn't have that Holyrood has – the abbey. There's this old abbey from the 1200's or something in the back, which has a caved in roof but is otherwise in decent shape. It was awe inspiring. Lots of latent power to that building.

As I walked through the gardens outside the abbey it started raining, but luckily the tour was over. I was thinking of tracking down dinner, but it was only 3 or so, so – well. The parliament was across the street. What better way to kill two and a half hours?! I watched them debate creating a national digital network for Scotland (for TV provision & high-speed broadband). It was pretty interesting. I felt sick and wrong because I ended up siding with the conservatives, if just because they were the only people in the room who a) never talked about 'back when we had black and white TVs' and also ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT THE HELL THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT. One of them was like: 'so, listen, we need better upload speeds based on the recent developments in available technology' and the national party and labour party were like: 'wtf?' And it was kind of TREMENDOUSLY ANNOYING that only like 8 people attended the debate but then everybody showed up to vote on it without having listened to any of the shit that was going on. But it passed! Yay!

Then I went for dinner. I went to a mexican place. Yes, I know, completely random choice on my part. Totally satisfying, though. Chicken/Chorizo enchilada, rice, beans – it was actually run by a family from Mexico so it was really good. Good drinks, too. Went back to my hotel, packed, watched Spiderman for some reason.

CUE THIS MORNING.

OH WAIT I FORGOT SOMETHING ABOUT YESTERDAY. Right. So. My shower was broken. Very broken. No worky. Upset face. I had to bathe with the water in the tea kettle. This is relevant because it resulted in me taking a shower in another room this morning, and then a 10% discount on my stay! Yay!

I asked for an extra hour to stay in my room, which I got – thus why I got to post some photos this morning – and then I took the bus off to Waverly station, waited for a train, got on a train, started writing this, got interrupted by a chicken bacon sandwich and bottle of coke, and then got off the train, took a taxi to my hotel, and here I am, writing this.

The hotel is amazing. It was built in 1699, and reminds me in no small amount of Lara Croft's mansion. There will be pics, I assure you. It has the most amaaaaaaazing bathtub, and my view is great. And I ordered room service. Will tell you how that turns out. Hehe. This place is so fancy their website includes directions for landing a helicopter on the property. It's absurd. Unfortunatley, something in my hotel room appears to spark my allergies, or something. Or maybe I'm just overreacting because my ear was itchy earlier. Hard to tell now that I've taken an anti-hystemene. I can tell you that I am veeeeeeerry tired. Will probably collapse after posting my photos of edinburgh. Although they are bringing me room service! Ehehe. Fancy places. Joy.

Signing off for now!

Written at Heathrow airport, so I would write, and not pass out and get robbed.

My first flight was delayed by half an hour. So is my second flight, so it's not going to be any shorter of a layover. I've been up since noon PST, and it is now... uhhh... 1pm minus 8 hours... 5am? Yeah, 5am. And my flight leaves in two and a half hours so it'll be 7:30am when I get on that plane and then like 10am by the time I get to Edinburgh. Aand then it's a 40 minute bus into town and then maybe I'll get my 16-25 railcard and then taxi to my hotel. And collapse. And maybe food will be involved somewhere in there, at this point I don't really care. I'm starting to think that my exhausted typos shouldn't be corrected so you can get the full experience of how I am rolling right now. UHM.

GOD THERE IS NOTHING INTERESTING TO SAY ABOUT MY TRIP SO FAR. Got to the airport, had a personal pizza, got on the airplane, sat next to a couple of old ladies, flew for 9 hours – I watched “No Strings Attached”and “How to train your dragon”and two episodes of Community and two episodes of a show called Episodes. I will review what I watched in an effort to be interesting. OH also they fed me a pretty disgusting chicken/pasta meal we will never speak of again.

Right, so No Strings Attached. It was a fight to actually watch this whole movie. I'm sorry Carmine, I know you recommended it, but it seems that yet again our tastes in entertainment are polar opposites. I nearly stopped the movie like 5 times and the only reason I didn't is that I almost fell asleep. I did think that Ashton Kutcher (it took me like 6 minutes to remember his name just then)'s buddies totally got the best parts, though. Anything that was remotely entertaining about that film came from them. Mostly though I thought it was pretty shitty and the buildup to the whole thing was so weird and then the first sex scene was SO AWKWARD and that scene in the trailer where he hands her the “congratulations” balloon is SO MUCH MORE AWK than the trailer makes it seem because she's made it clear she wants to keep shit casual and he SHOWS UP AT HER WORK SO INAPPROPRIATE WHATEVER.

How to Train your Dragon I've already seen. But I still highly recommend it. Love the soundtrack, for whatever reason. Oh, and the inexplicably scottish vikings seemed appropriate considering where I'm flying.

Dear people who watch Community, and keep insisting I watch community. I've watched 5 episodes now and I DON'T GET IT. D8 I don't find it funny – I think it's too cynical. I do like the character played by Trudy from Mad Men, though, and Chevy Chase's character. I dunno – it feels like all the right pieces are there, but I hate the main guy. If somebody else was the main character I'd probably like it better.

EPISODES, however, I have NEVER heard of in my life, and it was AMAZING. I was laughing out loud and I do not do that very often while watching TV anymore. It's about these two british people who write a (fictional) sitcom about a headmaster getting approached by an american TV station about making an American adaptation. And then they replace their main actor with Matt LeBlanc, which the brits find horrifying and scandalizing. And Matt LeBlanc is actually pretty bad-ass in this. He's playing himself – I hope Matt LeBlanc is actually this awesome IRL! Haha. BUT SINCE WHEN IS HIS HAIR GREY!? And more importantly why is he 50 times hotter with grey hair!? Has CW infected me with some sort of graverobbing virus?

UHM yeah that's pretty much it. Tried to sleep. Failed miserably. Had a panicked moment where I thought I'd forgotten something really important (I hadn't) – had a panicked moment where I thought my debit card was broken, AGAIN, stranding me at the airport (it wasn't, but apparently my withdrawal limit is 200 dollars... I meant to fix that, oops.) Now I am sitting at the airport, I've only been writing for 20 minutes, OH GOD, and I smell sweaty because it is SO GODDAMN HUMID IN LONDON WHAT THE HELL.

I'm sitting at a bench facing away from a TV. The TV is playing tennis. Apparently, and I guess I knew this intellectually but not- y'know – having been faced with it – BRITISH PEOPLE LOVE TENNIS, because there are about 30 guys sitting facing the TV (and as a result, me) – there's even a guy sleeping on the bench across from me, and, I shit you not, some guy just sat down on him so he'd get a good view of the TV. Even more unbelievable, sleeping guy is apparently totally okay with some random dude sitting on his feet. He woke up and was like “oh yeah go right ahead”- is he tired or are British people just that polite?

HEY, on a completely different note, apparently there's been a bit of a currency overhall while I've been here. The 20's no longer fit in my wallet. ...This is bullshit, I expect it to be mended ASAP. Also the bills are so new and crisp that they look like play money. It's making me a little nervous, honestly. ALSO the ATMs here charge at 1.71 to the Canadian dollar, WTF, the rate is 1.57, grrr argh angry noises. Guess I'll be using my credit card as much as possible!

Hey, mother, when you read this, next time you are at the credit union could you ask them if it would be possible to temporarily up my withdrawal limit so I don't have to get cash out more frequently and therefore get hit with more fees?

FUCKS SAKE IT'S STILL ONLY 13:40, TWO HOURS TO WAIT AGGHGHGHL.

~~~~

Flash to the present - I am at my hotel in Edinburgh now. Waiting at Heathrow was annoying but not SO bad, in the end. A little boring. Flight here was also uneventful. I encountered a lot of Germans. They use the word 'cool' so much it gets silly.

I think I am gonna go bother my hosts for a sandwich and a few drinks now so I can enjoy refreshments before completely collapsing.

WOOOOOOOOOOO TRAVELLING...

...zzzzz.

...and running. Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved.

Okay oh God it's already 1:20 I'm an idiot why am I even starting this. Because I must.

Our story begins yesterday. At 3:30am. When I woke up, got dressed, and dragged my sorry ass to the airport. Nothing really to report. United's customer service is stupidly slow. Security went ridiculously easily. I had an english muffin meal for breakfast. Then I got on a plane. Then I landed in San Francisco. Then I got on another plane and got to San Diego and got my bags and took a shuttle to my hotel. PAINLESS.

My hotel is the Town and Country in San Diego. Which is fucking HUGE. It's like a maze. I got here and checked in but my room wasn't ready. Sigh. Fine. Off I go to get lunch at one of their 5 restaurants. (Yes, this place is HUGE.) It was not so hot. Mostly, the decor of the restaurant was WEIRD. Easy chairs at half the tables, weird flowery cushions tied to the others. Ancient carpet and wallpaper... fucking weird. My room (which I got into after two hours of waiting - playing Shin Megami Tensei - and then telling them I'd take anything that was available) is weird too. Flower patterns everywhere. On the wallpaper, on the cupboard handles, on the curtains, on the covers- and they're all different! Weird! So fucking weird! At least the lamps are... OH GOD THEY'RE FLOWER PATTERNED TOO.

Oh where was I. Oh yes. Got into my room. Went to go see if I could line up to get a badge. Walked in and was handed my badge without having to wait for even a second. ...Whoa. That's new.

Went back to my room as I had time and took a quick shower before taking the first bus to the Convention Centre. I wandered for a WHILE before I found the line to get in- it's in the Sails Pavilion now. Which sucks because there are no walls to lean on and nothing but concrete to sit on. For four hours. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. More Shin Megami Tensei (god this game is awesome) and lots of people watching. In people watching, I realized- holy shit. I recognize people. I recognize LOTS of people. I recognize regular con goers! Does that make me a regular?

We went into the exhibit hall at 6! I wandered! I bought stuff! I met the Octopus Pie lady! And Sarah Ellerton! And the Penny Arcade guys made blank faces to try and steer people away and made people who were in on it laugh hysterically. I spent a lot of money oh God. When I got sick of spending money, I went to the Capcom Booth. Which as usual is FUCKING AWESOME.

First of all, you can play Dead Rising 2, Ghost Trick, Okamiden, and as usual they're having fighting game tourneys on the big screens. Epic. Most important fact: GHOST TRICK IS MADE/TRANSLATED BY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT TEAM AND IT LOOKS INCREDIBLE AND I NEED IT. Also they had a display for Dead Rising 2 where you can pose with one of 20 weapons- chainsaws, super soaker with a poison symbol on it, machete, boxing glove with knives taped to it (REAL knives- "We aren't pussies here at Capcom"), chain (what I picked), pipe bombs, propane tank covered in dynamite, bat with nails in, golf club... Capcom always has the best booth.

That's pretty much all that happened. I got Subway and came back to the hotel and chilled and then slept.

Woke up painfully early. 7:30am early. Sigh.

Got showered, got room service, ate, left, got to Comic Con. Today went a little like this.

10:30 - Danny Elfman - I went to a panel about Danny Elfman. Which wasn't even full. How depressing. Danny Elfman is kind of an interesting guy. He never thought of musician as a career at all. Tim Burton was the one who got him into composing in the first place. Frickin' weird. Also, apparently he most identifies with Jack Skellington. Also he's incredibly afraid of public speaking and so he was pretty nervous the whole time. Kind of sweet.

11:45 - Stan and Hunter Freberg - These people are old. This means they are both cute and annoying in their own way. Hunter Freberg I kind of hate a little because she's so mannered. Like a pageant queen. Grar. Anyway, they wrote a new CD together. Old-timey jingle tunes about how teenagers talk too much on their cellphones, you 'never seem to be able to get a person on the other end of the line', and the trees that drop fruits that mess up their car in the summer... God these people are old. Jesus.

1:00 - Charlaine Harris - Is an absolutely fabulous woman. And Kat, for the record, Sookie Stackhouse will NEVER become a vampire. Also she has many a problem with the show. Although she likes Jessica a lot and wishes she'd thought of her first. In general she is very down-to-earth and appreciative and passionate about her job, which is great. Also not shy to state an opinion, which is rare but impressive. OH ALSO ALSO SPOILER ALERT in the next book Eric is going to tell Sookie it's time for her to be turned! Ohhhh my.

I sat next to a woman who needs therapy before that panel. She's been through some really awful shit and dealt with it all on her own, as she told me proudly, but she so has not finished dealing with it and could really use the therapy. Jesus.

Following that panel there was a break for lunch and then I went to Hall H for my very first Hall H panel.

3:30 - Visionaries: JJ Abrams and Joss Whedon - Didn't know anything about Abrams personally before this. He is kind of the man. I love him. I don't love everything he creates but he's awesome and way cooler than Joss. Sorry Joss. Joss was good too, though.

4:45 - After a particularly successful bout of crowd surfing, I went from like 110 rows back (OMFG Hall H) to being in the 4th row from the front. Unhf. I had no idea what I was sitting in on. "THE EXPENDABLES" they announced. "I don't know what that is!" I called back. The nice older guy named Ralph or Russel or something I don't remember (sorry dude) who was sitting next to me said: "What?! It's the movie with Stallone and Jet Li and Bruce Willis and Steve Austin and-"

"...Oh, wow. Wow. Holy shit. I do actually know what is."

There was a black guy named Crows or something who was fun and cool, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Sylvester Stallone, ...Fuck fuck fuck That guy whose intials are DR and played the villain in Rocky IV, and also some guy from UFC named Randy who people kept wishing luck in a fight. There were lots of asian men in the crowd. ...Why do asian guys love UFC so hard?

So right after they introduced these guys, Bruce Willis came out! He gave everybody a hug, waved hello, and ran off! You know what's terrifying? A PANEL WHERE EVERY PERSON ON STAGE LOOKS LIKE THEY COULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF BRUCE WILLIS.

In other news, the Expendables looks poorly shot but also like a pure injection of testosterone. Manlyyyy. Also they totally filmed it in Brazil so they wouldn't have to insure everybody properly. I'm not sure if anybody died filming it but I do know that STEVE AUSTIN BROKE SYLVESTER STALLONE'S FUCKING NECK. HOLY SHIT. They didn't set up safety mats or anything, Jesus! They kept going to the hospital! After beating the shit out of eachother and throwing eachother around on bricks and so many stunt guys were injured and those guys are all kind of fucked up in the head.

I tried to change rows but failed. This will be relevant later.

6:00 - This is what I was here for. SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD. They handed out buttons as it got started up. I got a 1-up button. Bad-ass. Edgar Wright came out and asked us if we all wanted to see a clip. Woooooo! He then asked us if we also wanted free chocolate. Woooooooo! There was no free chocolate. He apologized. He did however have 13 cast members to introduce! Woooooooooooo! Michael Cera came out in a Captain America costume. Him and Ellen Wong are totally dating or something- lots of whispering and touchy-feely. Also OMFG Brandon Routh is hot like the sun when he doesn't have icky Superman hair.

There was introductions! There was questions and answers from the audience! Edgar Wright said: "Who wants chocolate!" Wooooo! "Who wants to see another clip!" Woooooooooooooooo! "Who wants to see the whole movie, right now!?" WOOOOOOOOOOO! (but yeah right it'll never happen)

A picture of the 1-up button I had came up on the screen.

"BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE, FOLLOW ME TO THE MOVIE THEATRE!"

WHAT!?

NO.

REALLY!?

I GET TO SEE THE MOVIE RIGHT NOW!?

Edgar Wright lept off the stage! We all hurried to follow! Hurry hurry! Behind us a map was being displayed! Hurry hurry! We all got out of Hall H! Hurry hurry! People started heading for the Hilton! ...Didn't the map say 4th ave? Whatever! Massive crowd to follow!

...The map totally DID say 4th ave! Shit! We're so behind! We'll miss the movie!

...Oh my God dude you have never seen so many nerds run. For blocks. For blocks and blocks we ran to catch up. And for naught! We got to the Balboa theatre (and after they confiscated my camera) we got in and me and Captain R. Niceguy got great seats. And free popcorn and soda. Yeeee. Waiting for the movie to start. The fact that I'm at the World Premiere of Scott Pilgrim (as we were later informed that it was because the movie was only just finished) starts to sink in and I can't keep the grin off my face. Even the cast hasn't seen the movie yet!

I liked the movie. It was fun and I laughed a few times and the crowd was great and every time Scott beat an evil ex the crowd went nuts. I had problems with it too but none of that matters right now. I'll worry about that when it's officially out and I can see it when the conditions aren't so amazing.

After the movie was over, the screen lifted up to reveal Metric on the other side. They played 4 songs and the crowd rocked out and up above with their body guards the cast danced with us and it was spectacular.

I missed out on the chance to try an actual restaurant because of it, though. Subway was the only thing I had energy left for.

Swear to God tomorrow I will make it to an actual restaurant.

But for tonight, it is sleepy time. Euphoric bliss must halt for sleepy time.

I am so pre-regging for Comic Con 2011 tomorrow.

Okay, okay, don't hate me. I know- I suck at keeping this thing updated. But think about how I feel. I have to make a week's worth of entries now, and I'm sitting in O'Hare airport typing this shit out and desperately trying to remember what the heck I've been doing with myself. I'm probably going to miss out on some of it, but an entry is better than no entry.

March 14th:

We were in Columbia briefly.

Then we hopped in the car and drove the two and a half hours-ish to Charleston. It was sunny for the first time in forever so we were in fairly high spirits. Our hostel wouldn't let us check in until 5pm (and they are real bitches about that) so we decided to go to Folly beach. We parked in a sand lot up the beach and walked all the way down to the pier. The beach is pretty sandy there. Lots of shells mixed into the sand- which could cut you if you stepped on them wrong. Ouch. By the time we got to the pier we were starving, so we went to the restaurant there. Traditional beach place! Overpriced, so-so food. But it all tasted good to me- I was starved! I had a seafood pasta. It involved Crawdads. I expected them to taste a lot more like lobster than they did- they had a really sharp flavour to them. Jayci ordered an open-face chicken sandwich but somehow ended up with fried prawns. We decided this was probably an editorial decision on the part of our waitress.

We walked to the end of the pier after lunch. It was windy as hell and my hair got tangled spectacularly, as did Jayci's (her being blessed/cursed with curly-ish hair, after all) - but I took some pretty photos of birds (see Facebook) and good times were had. We made our way back to the car after that.

"It's 4:30" Jayci said- "We can probably go to the Hostel and check in now." This was a reasonable assumption, but ENTIRELY WRONG. No checking in for you, Tao and Jayci. Sit out on the porch with the people from Raleigh, North Carolina ("What's the capital of North Carolina?" "Raleigh." "Really?" "No, Raleigh.") and play ERS so Jayci can stomp Tao soundly yet again. (But I beat her at Chess so ha.)

Eventually we got in, though. We met Leo, their ginger tabby, who likes to suck on peoples' fingers. Then the lady showed us our room (our beds were pushed right up next to eachother, oo-la-la) and gave us towels and we settled in for a while, being exhausted. We tried to watch the Hurt Locker online but the connection suuuucked. Then we decided to go try and find ourselves some dinner. We went to King Street, which is like- the main restaurant/shopping street in Charleston. We wandered up, searching for a particular pizza place Jayci wanted to go to- too far, because we ran out of restaurants- and then wandered back to the restaurants, and decided to eat in this place called Wok. It was an asian fusion type thing. The food was really good (imho) but the restaurant kind of reminded me of Vancouver like 10 years ago- when organic/healthy food was trendy and chic and served overpriced and pretentiously. The kind of pretentious that fades when everybody in the fucking world is offering organic options.
We went back to the hostel and attempted yet again to get Hurt Locker loaded. We saw about the first 40 minutes but it didn't co-operate beyond that. Ah well. Goodnight!

MARCH 15TH:

The afternoon of the 15th we had a tour booked at Fort Sumter. We woke up kind of late (FYI, CW, you and Jayci have something in common- neither of you can wake up when your alarm goes off to save your life!) so we didn't get a chance to eat and were pretty starving when we got on the ferry to Fort Sumter. Thank God they had hot dogs for sale. Much nomming happened. The ferry took us out to the Fort, while a taped narration gave us a tour of the surrounding area. It was pretty interesting. Fort Sumter is where the Civil War began- basically, the Union was at one fort, and then during peace negotiations, somebody's wires got crossed and the Union soldiers were ordered to change locations to another fort (Fort Sumter) while at the same time the Confederates were being promised that the Union soldiers wouldn't make a move. So- y'know- when they saw them making that move, it didn't go over so well. Cue a long seige. Eventually, the Union surrendered, but asked for a 100 gun salute to honour the 'glorious battle'. ...And during the 100 gun salute, a cannon misfired, killing one guy and setting a bunch of black powder on fire which exploded and killed another guy. ...Those guys were the first casualties of the civil war. WTG, everybody!

When we got back on the mainland after the tour, we went to King Street and found that pizza place Jayci had been searching for the night before (it's called Monza, apparently) - it was totally dead in there, and they were seriously overstaffed. Giggly waitresses gossipping oh boy! The whole pizza place was set up as a tribute to stock car racing. All the pizzas were named after famous racers. I've never heard of any of them. Ahahaha. But the pizza was really nice. I recommend it!

Oh- on our way back to the car, we passed this part- apparently we missed Charleston fashion week- it started the day we left. Random fact. We drove back to the hostel, and again tried to load up the Hurt Locker. I was chatting to some people. Jayci went outside for a bit and I heard her talking to people, so I got up to see what was going on. She was talking to the girls from New York (state) that we had met earlier in the day! They offered us drinks and we formed an impromptu gathering on the porch of the hostel. The New Yorkers were into roller derby, and Tegan and Sara (which they talked to me about) and for the first but not the last time on this trip, I was asked about Canada's healthcare system. (Congrats on passing some sort of Health Care reform, America, even if you should have passed more than you did! Baby steps!)
We were joined in our gathering by a guy from Grand Rapids, Michigan (but we called him 'Detroit', because that's catchier) and a couple from... I forget, but Jayci will probably remember. Anyway, their names were Paul and Veronica and they had a bottle of wine. And then this woman from Berlin showed up (Julie) and we asked her what she was going to do in Charleston and somehow this ended up with Detroit, Julie, Jayci and me going to the beach at 11:30pm and walking down it. It was pretty cool. I almost faceplanted once, and we met some drunk guys, who helpfully called: "We're drunk!" the first time we passed them.

When we got back to the Hostel we were totally wiped out- and we had a 10am checkout, so we went straight to sleep.

March 16th:

I woke up with a cold. A cold I still have, as I type this, although it's much much much better, thank God. We got in the car, grabbed breakfast at McDonalds and travelled on to Augusta- to pick up Ian and Nicole, who live in Savannah, but they were caught in Augusta because of a car accident. So we drove 3 hours to Augusta and 3 hours to Savannah, with a stop in between for IHOP. Where we recieved spectacularly poor service- two messed up orders, 30 minutes before asking for our orders, and then the guy stole 74 cents from Nicole! Booo hiss IHOP.

We got to Savannah and ate at Mr.Pizza and then went for a walk in search of green shirts for me and Jayci (her previous green shirt was soaked in the Jacuzzi) - which we ended up getting at Urban Outfitters. NOTE: DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT PURCHASE ST.PATRICK'S DAY MERCHANDISE WHILE EXHAUSTED, SICK, AND DESPERATE. YOU WILL NOT NOTICE THAT THE LEPRECHAUN IS FLIPPING EVERYBODY OFF.

Then we went back to Ian and Nicole's dorm. ...And we watched Repo: The Genetic Opera! Hurrah! And then me and Jayci went and passed out in our hotel. Which was a La Quinta. FYI.

March 17th:

"Jayci, did you mean to set your alarm for 7am? It just went off. Jayci?"
"It's 8am now, Jayci. Good morning!"
"It's 8:10 now. I'm going to go get in the shower, I'll be out soon."
"It's like- 8:40 now. ...You want to get up, I think." (this time she grunted in response)
"...When does the parade start? It's 9:20." (This time she got up!)

Seriously though. Oh God. We were so exhausted. I can't plead innocent- as soon as she went into the bathroom I passed out asleep again. When she woke me up she was like: "...I think we're burning out."

But turns out the parade was two hours later than we thought! Yay! We met Ian and Nicole, had lunch, and went to watch the madness. Photos on facebook. There is no describing the madness. There was a couple getting increasingly drunk behind us, and Jayci got her hand shook by a Vietnam war vet, and many a military man was kissed. Everything was green.

After that Jayci and I left, and drove to Augusta again- because we were going to her family's house for a traditional St.Pat's dinner of Corned Beef and Cabbage. My opinion: YUM. Also, Jayci's family is totally overwhelmingly energetic, but they're a lot of fun and very welcoming. After that Teddy (Jayci's boyfriend) took us out and we hung out with him and his friend Matt. That was fun. Teddy and Matt are ridiculously funny. We went to IHOP again. I liked our server quite a lot- the service was much better this time. Then we went to Jayci's grandparents' to sleep. She showed me her yearbook a bit before we did. Her high school seems like the best high school ever.

March 18th:

We slept in until 3pm. We showered, and got dressed, and then it was time for dinner. Her grandparents brought us to the Harbour Inn. Jayci happily ordered more broiled scallops. This time I had the swordfish steak. It was good- but I was angry I couldn't taste it more. Her grandpa brought us for ice cream too. Then we watched Cinderella man and went to bed early.

March 19th:

My last day with Jayci! Sadface.

We woke up, and Jayci made me Grits, eggs and bacon. I am informed the grits were a bit too thick, but I enjoyed them anyway (again, grr, can't taste anything, stupid cold) and so it was all the same to me!

We went for a drive so Jayci could show me her old neighborhood out in the South Carolina country. It's really pretty out there- I can definitely see why she misses it. She drove me up to where the rest of her family seems to live (Her grandma and aunts and uncles) and I met many daschunds and daschund puppies, her aunt Didi, her cousin Kyle, and her Grandma and Grandpa on her dad's side. I was informed I should let Christ into my heart. I appreciated the sentiment, I guess, but it was a little odd considering I'd only spoken to her grandma for all of 15 minutes before this came up!

It was almost 8pm by the time we got me and my stuff out of the house and ready to go to Atlanta to be dropped off, so people insisted that Kayti and Layni be brought with us in order to keep Jayci awake so she didn't have an accident. I'm not sure that having Layni and Kayti in the car would make an accident LESS likely, but they were good company anyway. Kayti grilled me and Jayci on our roleplaying characters and what tropes/storylines they were part of, which kept us busy for like half the trip.

We got to the Drury Inn- that old familiar place. Much pouting and eye-tearfulness as I was dropped off (not really) and Jayci and her sisters drove off into the night. I went upstairs and watched stuff on Hulu before bed.

MARCH 20TH:

MOMOCON! Atlanta's anime convention. I wouldn't have gone if I didn't have a reason- and that reason went by the name Gina Biggs. Gina writes Red String, which is a webcomic I've followed for like 7 years, and I've always wanted to meet her. I expected to be disappointed by the con because I've been so spoiled with going to Comic Con these last few years (GRARRR WHY DID THE TICKETS SELL OUT NOOO) but it was really fun. The percentage of people dressed up to not dressed up is WAY higher, and the turnout was fantastic. And I got to meet Gina! It went a little like this.

Gina: *As I approach the booth* Hi there!
Me: *Points to t-shirt, which says: "Taotu"*
Gina: OMIGOD! *Runs around and hugs me*

So apparently Gina knows the people who frequent her forums pretty well! We got into a discussion about the politics on the forums these days (the shipping wars REALLY upset her- she doesn't want anybody to be so unhappy with who Miharu ends up with that they stop reading- eugh- how frustrated she must be) and we started talking about TrueBlood (Novels vs. Show) and how the con was going for her- it was a lot of small talk but it was really effortless and pleasant which is really as much as I can ask for when meeting somebody who I see as a celebrity. It was definitely my favourite meeting-the-artist moment I've ever had at a con. It was a happy day.

Oh, also-

Dear Atlanta,

Your MARTA system is pretty awesome. But it could use some police presence, because I witnessed two guys with knives out and threatening on two separate train rides. Also, a 40 minute wait for a train AT 6PM is f-ing UNACCEPTABLE. Thanks.

March 21st:

The Georgia Aquarium! It's big! It has high production values! But it's actually one of the most disappointing aquariums I've seen so far. The Whale Sharks are REALLY bad-ass, though, even if they're babies so they're only the biggest fish I've ever seen but still like 1/10th of the size they could be. Pfff.

March 22nd:

Lots of airport. Planes. I'm going to be home before I get to post this, but I finished it before my flight left to Vancouver! Go me! Go 3 hour layovers!

UNTIL NEXT TIME.

Okay- it's an hour later than I want it to be because of Spring Forward. Eugh. So I dunno if I can get all the way through the events of the past few days. But I'll try!

THURSDAY.

Woke up at 11:30-ish. Showered. Waited for CW and Allison to get back from their class. They did. We snacked and then went to interview the science professors at Hollins about this big contraversial issue regarding animal rights and vivisection and crazy activists and- okay- ask CW okay? It's complicated. But long story short- people are threatening to set the frogs and rats loose, oh noes! The Science profs were pretty cool- level-headed and interesting. I wish I could have seen more of the interviewing process for this story.

After that we went to El Rodeo for a late lunch/early dinner. Highlights included our waiter insisting on speaking to us in Spanish and being agressively friendly. Also Jayci at once point started climbing around under the table and peeked out just as the waiter passed by. Not only did he laugh- he went to the kitchen and got the cook and they leaned out of the kitchen and pointed and laughed at our table. I found this profoundly amusing.

After that we went and purchased ourselves some entertainment for the evening, including Twilight: Scene It (Narrated by Carlisle, OMGGGG) and Iron Man and Cobra agent masks for Chat Roulette (which tragically never happened. We got distracted.) PLEASE DO NOT LOOK UP CHAT ROULETTE, MOTHER. We also got snacks and drinks.

Back in the room- Allison and CW went off to classes. Jayci napped. I uploaded photos. When CW got back, we started setting up Scene It! When Allison got back, we played it. Allison won. Because she plays piano. Because the tiebreakers for that game are RIDICULOUS. Ahahaha.

Following that, there was much debauchery (involving bubbles and a walk around campus) that distracted us from Chat Roulette... dang. Some day.

FRIDAY.

Woke up. Did some laundry. Went off to Lew's and had burgers and sandwiches for cheap. Got honked at on the road because people in Roanoke honk at people who are walking. Why? Uh? Walked around the campus again now that it was daytime because you can't really appreciate it in the dark. CW and Allison were supposed to interview somebody, but it didn't happen.

We went to go see puppies at the mall, just like I did with CW and Allison last time. They were no less cute than last time. OH my God mini pugs are riddikalous. There was a guy in the mall selling Sugar Bears as pets. ...EEEEEEEEEEEEHEEEHEEE. SO CUTE. SO SOFT. DO WANT. But not really because they'd get out and cause total chaos omfg.

When we got back- it was almost 8pm. Sigh- me and WW1 really had to go. There was hugging! And getting in the car! And driving. Oh so much driving. In the pouring rain. And we stopped at McDonalds for food and talked to Desiree for a while. She was supposed to meet us in Columbia but- note from the future- she is not here, 'cause she sucks! We got to the hotel at like 1am. Crashed. Guuuuuuh.

SATURDAY.

Woke up. Packed. Got out of the hotel. Ate at the Harbour Inn. Which involves delicious seafood. Broiled Scallops and hushpuppies and fried shrimp were consumed.

Went to the Biltmore.

...

People, I can not adequately explain the Biltmore Estate. The amount of decadence and luxury and beauty and MONSTROUS EXPENSE AND WASTE that went into this place is impossible to put to words. You have to see it. I will try and explain, in this way...

The third room we saw was 4 stories high. Made of stone. Had a full-sized pipe organ installed in it. It was a banquet hall. With something like 50 seats at a huge table. There were mounted animal heads everywhere. Even a suit of armour. Flags and coats of arms. We were speechless. It was inconceivably massive. Downright intimidated.

The fourteenth room we saw was the lady of the house's room. When we walked into this room and were looking around- it was a beautiful, warm yellow room. I noticed a wrinkle in the paint job. I was about to tisk, when I realized...

"Oh my God."
"What?"
"This room isn't painted. This is cloth pinned to the wall."

Gorgeous, shiny, velvety cloth pinned to the wall. Absolutely astounding.

The 21st room we saw was a Servant's room. It was bigger than my bedroom. There were 21 more just like it.

The 37th room we saw went like this.

Me: *Checking the pamphlet to see what room we're in*
Jayci: *Looking towards me, points to the table behind me* Nice ping-pong table. What's this? A game room?
Me: *Looks over her shoulder, gaping* ...This is the BOWLING ALLEY.
Jayci: NO WAY.

The 53rd-55th rooms were the Bachelor's wing. Smoking room, Gun Room... MANLY.

We saw 55 rooms. The Biltmore apparently has 250.

People.

I CAN NOT EXPLAIN THIS EXPERIENCE TO YOU.

ASHEVILLE, NC. THE BILTMORE ESTATE.

Go there.

We drove to Columbia, SC as soon as we got out. And we're there right now. And it's springing forward tonight which means it's 1am right now.

BON NUIT.